“I drew two circles like this: oO. Then I pointed to the little circle and said, ‘This is your asshole before prison...”This is compliments of J & BJust some DEEP thoughts for 2017• The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.• My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.• The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. Pretty sure she’s going to get me something.• My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I’m worried about the 175 lbs I’ve gained since then.• I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out?”• The speed with which a woman says “nothing”, when asked “What’s wrong?”, is inversely proportional to the severity of the shit storm that’s coming.• Denny’s has a slogan, ‘If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.’ If you’re in. They continued chatting on and off for a few months all of us wishing we didn’t live so far apart when Neil told us of a potential trip that his friend was planning to watch the Scotland wales rugby match that would enable him to come to Cardiff .We kept in touch and we were told the trip would take place and Neil was coming down Emma was so excited about it she couldn’t wait to meet him eventually the time came and we arranged to meet Neil at the hotel they were staying at when we arrived Neil was with a friend of his Craig both looking very nervous we said our hellos and I went off to get some drinks while Emma chatted to the two lads when I got back I found out the Neil had never met anyone before and was so nervous he asked Craig to stay with him we had a few more drinks to help settle his nerves it was then Emma told me that she suggested going up to his room alone and that I should wait in the bar to start with till Neil was comfortable I said OK thinking I would have Craig to.
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